When you cried
by g33kg1rl
Summary: Guilt is a powerful thing, especially when allowed to perculate and stew over time. Fai.Yuui finally tells Kurogane about the guilt he holds inside for what he's done to him. KuroxFai soft lemon SPOILER: futuristic after events in chp166 UPDATED 10.19.07


Re-edited and update on 10/19/07

_When you cried… _

By: Melissa the Damgel

It had been so long.

Delicate fingers teased their way over the man's face, gliding into his black hair and brushing over his ears as they once again made their way down along his jaw and then back up to cup his angular features. Thumbs rubbed over cheeks before once again disappearing into the field of thick black hair as frail kisses fluttered along closed eyes and across parted lips with all the innocence of a saintly being.

Long legs parted and moved over his sitting companion, blonde hair brushing over the fabric coving the loss of his left eye. That same blonde hair brushed across his companion's strong jaw as he placed another series of kisses to his neck and along his cheeks. Inching closer upon his knees, the lithe man brushed his lips across the other's as his fingers pressed into his skin, his nails lightly teasing his neck as he felt down the man's strong body, tugging at his shirt in hopes of pressing his shaking palms to the man's chest.

Kurogane's healing had been long and annoying. The ninja hated feeling as though he were weak or inferior. Having the mage play nursemaid had been entertaining for about half a millisecond before he shouted and flushed in annoyance for him to get out of the damn outfit and just get him some damn water. He rumbled in approval as Yuui nibbled at his earlobe before leaving to nip at his neck. Lifting a hand, he slid his palm up along the man's thigh, enjoying his attention before he stopped, lifted his hand away and it hovered just an inch or two to the side of Yuui's body. Another kiss raked over his jaw and this time teeth followed, scraping across his skin delicately before suckling at the spot with a playful tongue.

Shivers rushed up Yuui's spine as he felt Kurogane's hand settle upon his hip, helping him remain steady as he lavished attention to his neck and his fingers continued to explore and remap areas across his body. He had had to wait for Kurogane to heal first before he could feed, and though he despised feeding from him, Yuui's lips ran along the ninja's neck hungrily and urgently with another loud and greedy growl from his stomach. He first felt over his bait's skin, remembering his touch and the salty taste that gathered along his collarbone as he inhaled Kurogane's strong scent.

Yuui pushed the pain in his belly aside simply so he could just _taste_ and _feel_ his bait before allowing his fangs to grow and his eye to shift to a haunting amber and his gaze to shift into a more predatory stare as his pupil became a slit. His tongue teased the vein in his bait's neck, coaxing the skin to warm and the blood to flow to the surface. Breathing deeply and shivering from Kurogane's scent, Yuui's lips trembled as he pulled them back, baring his fangs and sliding them effortlessly into the stronger man's neck, feeding from his willing body.

The power he held over Kurogane caused an erotic tremble to run down his spine and to his cock as he suckled and lapped at his skin, biting into his neck to keep the blood flowing as growls escaped him. His body warmed and began to buzz as new life and new clarity rushed into him as Kurogane's blood slid over his tongue and down his throat. Yuui needed to know Kurogane was really there and that he was really alive; he needed to know that he was truly touching him and that he was real and not imagined. His fingers slid down Kurogane's right arm and he gripped at his bicep, feeling the corded muscles even though the man was relaxed underneath him. He tugged on the man's sleeve and he inched closer, his body quivering as he spread his own legs wider and nudged his hips against the man's belly.

Everything had been so long ago…

Yuui's tongue darted out suddenly and lapped under his jaw as he trailed the tip down along his neck before he nipped and suckled possessively, warming the skin further and drawing the blood to the surface before once again bit into his neck.

Kurogane's hand traveled along the mage's side, his head tilted and held back to give him as much access as possible. His lips parted faintly and his neck felt as though it were catching on fire from the nips and bites Yuui was issuing to his body.

The mage moved closer still as his hips nudged against the ninja's as he straddled his thighs and rocked faintly above him. A hand ran along his arm and bicep, kneading at the muscles and tendons that corded that arm into a pillar of strength while his other hand tugged at his own pants, undoing them quickly to relieve the building pressure below his belt. Those strong fingers of Kurogane's gripped at his hip suddenly before moving along his back and circling his spine in a strangely affectionate way.

Teeth dragged along his neck and Kurogane inhaled sharply. He tried to cover it up with a grunt, but it was useless, for Yuui had heard and quickly dragged his teeth sharply over his neck once more. Pinpricks of pain shot down the ninja's spine and he hissed in pleasure, his arm wrapping fully around the man's lithe body as Yuui's tongue lapped and his mouth sucked at his neck forcefully with growls and rumbles of pleasure spreading through his body in a trembling orchestra of passion.

It had been so long…

Tightening his hold upon Yuui, Kurogane grunted faintly and jerked him closer, a hand gripping at the opposite shoulder of the mage as he tugged him down, forcing the man to sit upon his lap. Kurogane turned his head, bowing it down over Yuui's tilted head and he bit at his ear suddenly. The ninja held him tightly, breathing heavily into the magician's neck and inhaling the scent of his hair. A wry grin spread over his lips as Yuui squirmed in his lap, but that was only a passing enjoyment. Kurogane nudged his nose further into the blonde hair and inhaled deeply. The ninja let the weaving scent wash over him, causing his hips to jerk up against his companions in a momentary mindless need to be closer.

Yuui choked against Kurogane's neck, his eye squeezing shut as a hand gripped the man's left shoulder. His hand shot up to Kurogane's neck, his thumb rubbing across his strong jaw and he pulled his face away from his neck. Yuui panted, his amber eye flickering as he stared down at the larger man, his fingers curling into the black hair at the base of his neck as his licked his lips of the last remaining drops of blood.

As his eye faded back to the brilliant blue that was his birthright, Yuui's lips descended and brutally pressed against Kurogane's lips. A sob suddenly wrenched itself from his throat as his fingers curled more tightly into the fabric at the ninja's shoulder. Yuui shifted in his bait's lap, his thighs gripping the man's waist tightly and locking them together in a wiry frame of long limbs and muscle as he rocked against him. Yuui's other arm wrapped slowly about Kurogane's neck, holding his head in place as his body arched against the ninja's strong chest and his hips thrust against his.

Returning the kiss with just as much urgency and haste, Kurogane's hand lifted brushing away the tears before slipping his fingers into the downy blonde hair that tickled his calloused hands.

"No tears, Yuui…" he breathed across the mage's lips.

Another cry escaped Yuui's throat as the emotional pain caused his body to jerk forward, where he didn't move and instead securely pressed himself into the ninja's hold. "I'm sorry… I'm sorry..." He sobbed, though his words were rudely interrupted a second later as Kurogane's tongue forced itself into his mouth and engaged his own tongue into a rubbing, lingering battle of strokes and taste.

Kurogane trailed his hand back to Yuui's waist and his hips moved up against his, rubbing against the mage's clothed body and delighting in the feel of the smaller man's erection hot and hard against his. Yuui moaned as his cock escaped his open pants and began to rub against Kurogane's clothed one, the cool evening hair brushing over the weeping head and teasing the aching flesh.

Tilting his head and deepened the searching kiss, Kurogane's chest fluttered suddenly and he felt the lithe man collapse against him completely, gripping at his hair and at his left hip as he moved more insistently against him.

Yuui's aching moans grew louder in intensity as more tears ran from his darkly blue eye. He arched and rubbed against the man, shaking and reeling from his nearness and from the sheer overwhelming power the ninja injected into him with every simple touch.

Pulling away suddenly, Kurogane's eyes narrowed as he eyed Yuui's face while his fingers jerked on his pants as he pulled Yuui more securely against his trapped and enraged cock. "Stop crying." He whispered, his hand tugging down the magician's pants successfully and gripped the man's ass. Frowning as he watched the mage's face contort into a mixture of pleasure and despair, Kurogane removed his hand from Yuui's posterior and reached up, smoothing a gentle hand across his cheek and letting his thumb graze the man's eyebrow delicately. "You're not a woman. You don't have to cry for such stupid things."

"I'm sorry…" Yuui trembled and bowed his head, his tongue lapping up the blood that had trailed down his throat and chest, his tears washing Kurogane's skin free of the red stain as he worked his way around the man's neck. Kisses pressed heatedly against his jaw and chest only to travel along his collar bones to his shoulder at his left and he stopped, once again letting a sob escape him before he very carefully pressed his brow to his shoulder gingerly and gripped at his bicep tightly.

"I said stop crying." Kurogane grunted, though his voice was softer than usual, his fingers rubbing circles into the mage's lower spine, trying to relax him.

Yuui shook his head and straightened up against him, staring the man in the eyes as he let himself be consumed by the red intensity that scorched through his soul. "I can't. I can't stop crying because I can't forget." He explained, smiling weakly and so sadly his blue eye shattered with hopelessness and despair.

Kurogane glared, though the unexpected jerk of pain that pulled his stomach into itself was unnerving as well as horrifyingly eye-opening. "Fine, then I'll make you forget."

Bowing his head, Yuui shook, managing to hold in his tears and cries for a moment as he bobbed his head in acceptance. "Punish me and make me forget…" he whispered, his soft fingers alighting upon the ninja's cheek so delicately it only made his words that much harsher. "I want to scream in pain… please… no mercy this time." He whispered, his slim fingers trembling upon the man's cheek.

Staring at the mage, Kurogane's mouth thinned into a line and his eyes shadowed as he nodded, his red eyes closing for a moment as he nodded again in agreement.

Yuui's head bobbed and his body shook as he wilted, his head tilting to the side as he exposed his neck for the taking, much as a wolf showing his submission to the Alpha and waiting for his superior's teeth to sink into his throat. It was like he was begging him for death.

Gripping his upper arm tightly and throwing the mage to his side, Kurogane moved with him, rolling Yuui to his back as he shoved his hips hard against the slender man's and he bowed his head, hovering above that neck.

A choked sob wrenched from Yuui's chest though he didn't move or fight against Kurogane's grip, his eye squeezed shut with tears seeping past long, damp lashes.

Glaring down at Yuui, Kurogane's fingers tightened upon his arm and he moved his head closer to his neck, his teeth barred as he panted and breathed heavily against the smooth neck.

Swallowing hard, waiting for the pain to lance through his body, Yuui could stop the cry from wrenching itself out of his throat as Kurogane began his punishment. The magician's head jerked back and his body arched sharply against Kurogane's as the man's teeth grazed over his neck.

Shaking his head and sobbing as Kurogane's hips once again picked up the rubbing and thrusting motions against their clothed crotches, Yuui cried out again and tugged on the man's sleeve. "No! No! I don't want _this_… _not this!_" He screamed as his body gave up and he sobbed.

Kurogane's teeth worried the bit of flesh for a moment more before he lifted his head from the mage's neck and placed a soft kiss to the faint love mark he had just created. There had been no harsh biting, no blood drawing, nor any punches or curses. Kurogane took a moment to study Yuui's agonized face before he leaned down to softly kiss his brow, trying to sooth out the wrinkles and creases with carefully placed affection.

"I don't know how many times I have to tell you, but it wasn't your fault. I chose this. It was either you or an arm." Kurogane whispered, planting another kiss to the man's cheek and didn't flinch as Yuui wailed in agony as though his skin had burned his skin. Another kiss fluttered across the small man's jaw and he soon pressed another to the shell of the blonde's ear. Yuui's voice dropped and Kurogane's hips stopped thrusting so he could push firmly against Yuui's begin to rub slowly but sweetly between the man's legs.

"I don't blame you." He whispered and Yuui moaned and trembled, his fingers gripping tightly at his shoulder and neck.

"I never did." Kurogane breathed, his lips quivering upon Yuui's earlobe. "There's nothing to forgive." His fingers trailed up and down his waist, squeezing his hip before his fingers traveled back up to Yuui's face and pushed the blonde locks away from his red and wet face. "But…" the ninja paused, kissing his brow once again before pulling away just enough to stare into that remaining shattered blue eye that were so scared and yet desperate to know what Kurogane's judgment was going to be.

Gripping at the fabric of Yuui's shirt at his shoulder, Kurogane shifted against him, pushing hips and engorged erections together in that continually intimate and slow, but firm, rubbing motion he had established before he continued. "But… forgive me. I need you too much to let you go."

Yuui shuddered from an abrupt orgasm as he stared up at Kurogane. A whimper escaped his throat as he thrust his hips against the ninja's as another wave of tears fell from his eyes and into the blonde hair at his temples. "Kuro…" he whispered, his fingers unwinding themselves from the ninja's clothing and his arms wrapped about Kurogane's neck, pulling him down to him even as his body grew weak and threatened to collapse. "Kuro…." Yuui began again but choked on his name as he hid his face against the man's neck.

Closing his eyes, because it was so much easier to just ignore the pain that Yuui was displaying under him, Kurogane settled comfortably against Yuui's body, rumbling in approval as the mage's long legs wrapped about his body.

"You're so selfish." Yuui whispered.

"So are you." Kurogane grunted into his ear.

Clutching at the man above him, Yuui choked in a breath, his fingers on one hand weaving into his black hair, while the other finally reached out, daring to touch the shoulder that was lacking an arm. The empty sleeve was so foreign and frightening. Ice dropped into Yuui's belly and he shuddered, hiccupping in pain and fear as he clutched at the yukata sleeve and tugged on it as though hoping his arm would appear any second now.

It had been so long… and yet… nothing could ease the guilt he felt for that empty sleeve.

"I'm scared you'll leave." Yuui whispered, biting at his lip as his throat closed up tightly.

"I won't." Kurogane nuzzled his ear, his red eyes still closed to block out the pain.

Yuui shook his head and wiped at his tears quickly. "You need to stop trying to save me. First becoming my bait and now… an arm…" He hid his face against his shoulder once more and shook against his broad chest. "Don't die." He breathed out.

Frowning, Kurogane pondered upon his words carefully. His fingertips were rough, but subtle as they traveled across Yuui's arm that was wrapped around his neck. His hand followed the willowy limb downwards and passed over the mage's neck and fleetingly over his ear and causing Yuui to tremble as a result. "I won't die so long as you stop being stupid and start caring about your own wellbeing." He stated, making the last part sound like an order.

Turning his head, Kurogane nudged his nose against Yuui's as the man turned to stare up at him in return. Yuui stared up into his red eyes as his body began to relax slowly against his chest and his fingers curled within his hair slowly.

"Can Kuro-rin fuck me now?" He whispered, staring up at him in a broken way that made his doll-like mask crack and reveal his shattered confidence and the lusty longing that screamed for reassurance and proof that Kurogane still was a living being as he hovered above his body.

Grunting in annoyance, Kurogane raised a brow at the man's request though his fingers did curl more tightly into the fabric of Yuui's clothing as though to keep him from running away. Kurogane studied him for a moment before he lowered his head and pressed his lips to Yuui's, rolling his tongue over his lips and tasting the man's bittersweet essence as real fear finally seeped from their bodies and left nothing but vulnerable truth and desperation.

Breaking the kiss was slow and lingering, and almost painful in the way Yuui shook and radiated his self hatred for what he still believed he had done to him. Kurogane frowned and averted his eyes as his brow rested against Yuui's, focusing on the mage's ragged breathes and trembling lips as he waited, knowing that Yuui hoped that he would be rough and harsh on him. "No." he whispered finally.

Yuui's breath caught in his chest and his eye squeezed shut, his shaking fingers lifting to grab at Kurogane's collar, "Why?" his trembling voice couldn't mask the betrayal that leaked past his lips.

Silence was his only answer for several long minutes as Kurogane attempted to truly find an answer to that multilayered question. With a soft sigh and a bit more pressure placed against the mage's thin waist, Kurogane turned his eyes back to stare into the broken gaze of Yuui's blue eye. "Punishments won't fix anything." He whispered and was silent for a several heartbeats before his lips parted once again. "And I won't use sex as a punishment against you." He sighed and buried his face against Yuui's neck suddenly, his hand holding tightly to his body. "Just stay," he breathed across his skin.

Yuui cried.

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I'm so tired! ;.; I was getting ready to log off my computer around 4 this morning and go to bed, and while I was sitting hunched forward in a cat-like stretch and staring at the screen, I suddenly found myself clicking on one of my Microsoft word pads and starting to type… and the next thing I knew I had written about six pages and it was five in the morning. I just sort of stared at the screen and wondered what happened to me, because I felt like I had been possessed as I wrote this. The words just flowed from me. Even editing it this morning, I really didn't change anything. I only added a little here and there (mostly at the beginning and the end).

So I guess I can say I'm rather happy with how this turned out. But I guess I'm just dazed because I don't know where it came from. It almost feels like Kurogane and Fai had channeled into me and wanted me to write this.

I was just struck by this last Tsubasa comic (as I'm sure we all were). I was going to wait till the next one came out before I sat down to try and write another fic, but like I said… It's like a KuroxFai possession took me over and I wrote this ahead of time. But what struck me about this last comic is that Kurogane really has gone beyond the call of duty for their little group. He's been injured protecting them, he crashed that flyer thing on Piffle to protect Sakura, he became Yuui's Bait and gave up a lot to keep him alive… and now… he cut off his own arm to ensure that Yuui wasn't left behind and he was able to stay with them. It just blows my mind that Tomoyo-Hime thought Kurogane had to learn what true strength was, because I honetly think he already knew what it was all along. He had wonderful parents who showed him what true strength was, but he didn't have anyone to direct it towards after they were gone. Sure, he cares for Tomoyo-Hime, but she's a princess, she has countless guards and bodyguards to protect her. I think because Kurogane didn't have that family-unit to show his strength towards, he was bitter and that's why he might have been acting out in Japan and killing all and every intruder. He was lost because he didn't have people or just _someone_ to protect that was for himself. I think this group became that to him and more.

So I guess I'm just touched that Kurogane went so far. He wants to keep his family together, even at the cost of life and limb. I know that Kurogane has indeed grown on this trip and that Tomoyo-Hime wasn't wrong in sending him away (I didn't want to imply that heh); I think I just mean that Kurogane had that strength in him all along; he just didn't have the family to unlock his true strength for.

This fic was definitely worth getting only 3 hours of sleep over.

I hope you enjoyed it… but I have a feeling I'll read this in a week and cringe in pain and wish I hadn't posted it so soon - heh. So I might be updating this later….

Melissa the Damgel


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